Archive for Marriage

On Weddings and the Modern Vision of Marriage

Posted in Humanity, Religion, Top Posts with tags , , , , on January 25, 2010 by raingeg

Marriage is in the spotlight a lot these days as the issue of gay marriage is hotly debated in California. I’d like to turn away from the issue of gay marriage to address marriage and modern conceptions of heterosexual marriage.

Last weekend a good friend of mine was married. It was a very nice wedding and even a couple days after I am still feeling a little elevated by the happiness that it brought me. Pretty much anything sentimental will leave me with a good feeling afterward, I’m just that kind of guy.

One of the most powerful things that I took away from the wedding was its emphasis on purity and Godliness, something that is often left out of marriages in the 21st century.

First, purity is almost completely absent from the marriage scene. Society has put a large emphasis on sex, and that has made purity something that is seen as bad or “uncool.” But just think of all the problems that could be solved with sexual purity before marriage. Abortions would greatly decrease, single mothers would go down, divorce might decrease given the ability to compare lovers would be nonexistent and we would have stronger ideas of what commitment and family are really supposed to be about.

Unfortunately, society decided some time ago, that it is better to follow our emotions where ever they lead us. And if those emotions lead us to a society that has and condones a large number of abortions, has more and more single mother households and a good number of broken families, then so be it, at least we are following our “true emotions.” This is all based on the idea that what comes from within the human is good, noble and true, a notion that I despise.

An excuse often used to promote promiscuity is the need for experience. The claim that one needs experience has become a talking point of a world of humans that seek justification of vile practices and lack in the area of good  judgment. This mode of thinking has made its way into many social debates on sex, drugs, alcohol and war. When it comes to any certain act we find ourselves debating whether or not the given act is moral and ethical, and what is often said is that if you haven’t experienced the act personally you are not qualified to judge its moral and ethical value. This would only be true if the one judging was the only person alive on the earth, a situation that will most likely never happen. If a person can perceive and judge the actual effects of something on a person or a society then experience is not required.

We live in a society that is completely appalled by judgment of actions, even in Christian circles. The “whatever floats your boat” ideology has permeated society, as judgment of right and wrong action becomes based more and more on ones own interpretation of what is right and wrong. We are loosing objective standards in favor of subjective standards, which inevitably makes judgment of another humans actions impossible. And as we get more subjective it almost becomes a requirement that one must experience something in order to judge its moral and ethical value.

Second, Godliness too has made its way out of the marriage process. Just look at some of the reasons that some people get married. Contrary to the Kardashian’s, marriage is not just a reason to stop using a prophylactic. Marriage is however a very strong lifelong commitment, and it requires all of you and more to make it work. Hence the reason for God to be a part of a marriage.

For some, marriage is just a piece of paper, and if it is a piece of paper then what is the difference between being an unmarried couple and a married couple, a bigger sense of commitment? The argument that marriage is the difference between having a piece of paper and not having one makes sense, coming from the world we live in now, where Godliness is a thing of the past. It seems that people put their college degree in higher regard than they do their marriage. Your degree is just a piece of paper, your marriage is not.

The divorce rate now makes sense. Marriage has been reduced to a piece of paper, a stronger commitment (whatever that’s supposed to mean) and a reason to stop wearing a condom. It is now not a binding vow, a life long commitment and a reason to remain pure. And when something gets demoralized as much as marriage has in America and around the world, I don’t have to wonder why we are finally having the debate over changing the definition of marriage and further corrupt marriage. We’ve already changed the definition, it is no longer what it once was, let this be seen as a plea to fix what has been broken and not further damage marriage, because I fear that if we do that it will soon not be salvageable.

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Thoughts About Modern Fatherhood

Posted in Humanity, Life, Politics, Top Posts with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2009 by raingeg

Fatherhood is sacred, as is motherhood, but in different respects. The father figure is one of the main ingredients of the glue that holds a family unit together. The father is supposed to be a leader, a guardian and a man that can occupy the emotions of both strength and love at the same time.

Sadly, fatherhood has become something of a minor role in some parts of society. Men, it seems, are thought to be sperm donors. The role of the father as we knew it has become archaic and old fashion, in a society where old fashion ways are bad and progression is the only good. And a good amount of men seem to not want to own up to their duties as fathers.

In Hollywood, fathers are bumbling idiotic figures, that always seem to be at the mercy of their children and at the other end of a much smarter and more sophisticated wife. In some cases the Hollywood father is too controlling and too demanding of his children, they never give him the ability to be both a wise loving father and a father that has a firm grasp on his household.

Society has cultivated this image of the father, in a world where instead of correcting our societal errors we tend to just make a U-turn and call that a solution. I say this in respect to the role of women in this country. A role, that to our own disgrace, did not give women the same rights as men. But that doesn’t mean that women can replace the role of the father. Certain people in society seem to want to push the idea that women don’t need men in any capacity, aside for their sperm. But the roles of men and women in respect to parenting are different. I will never deny that there are men out there that are equivalent to the scum that one might scrape off the bathroom floor. They exist and I will get to them further into this piece. I say this not to diminish women in any way, shape or form, I only say it to make the point that we must not lessen the role of the male father figure in society in the name of equality, effectively making the role of mother and father both irrelevant. I fear that if we continue down this road, much of the good traditions that we carry on from the past will get thrown out because they are connected, solely by time, to the bad traditions.

President Barack Obama, to his credit, seems to agree with this premise. He has said since the beginning of his presidency that he believes that fathers need to play a large role in the place of the American family.

Unfortunately, liberal policies have put the father in the position that we are in now. Abortion has become sort of an insurance policy for men looking to have a night of pleasure. They need not worry about getting a woman pregnant, they can always have an abortion. Yet that shows a total lack of respect for the woman and her feelings.

Taking away the emphasis on commitment and marriage before sexual intercourse has destroyed the family unit. Now men and women don’t see the need to get married before moving in with each other, and they don’t see the need to get married before they have sexual relations with each other. If a woman gets pregnant this puts the couple in an odd position. Some couples end up getting married, sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but when it doesn’t it is not a pretty sight. When the parents don’t get married the mother generally takes care of the child. How many times have you heard the term “single father?” I should say hardly ever.

Single mothers are becoming norm and the only answer that the left has to this problem is to say that the mother can take it, she is a strong woman. But I think that there should be no shame if a single mother wants to say that it is hard and that she cannot take it. And if the woman does go there the only answer that the left then has is to bring the government into the problem. A problem that could have been avoided if only two people had been responsible and taken into account the consequences of their actions.

And to address the bathroom scum that I referred to earlier in the article. To the “men” that treat women and children like that, I have very little respect for you. When I say that fatherhood is sacred I really do mean it. There is nothing that is good about being a single mother, and if you think for one second that you should just turn and walk away, for any reason, you are sadly mistaken. This includes a child’s mother that wants nothing to do with you. I know single mothers and I know their children, and the strongest emotion that I have for any “father” that decides to put zero effort into raising their child, that they helped create, is contempt. If I were in your shoes there would be nothing, not time or space, not anything, that would keep me from having a daily loving relationship with my child! My heart breaks for the child that grows up not knowing you, not learning from you and not having you there for them. My heart also breaks for the woman left alone. I can only hope that one day you see the mistake that you’ve made. And for the women that want to push the father away, if he is making an effort give him a chance.

When it comes to children they grow up fast. You don’t want to miss a minute of it. I’ve learned all of this from watching my niece grow up. Its only been a year and a half and watching her grow and turn into a person has opened my eyes to what it might feel like to be a father. There is nothing like the embrace of a child. There is nothing like feeling needed by a child. If there is one thing that I hope and pray that I can accomplish in my time here on this earth, it is to become a father.

Bigot

Posted in Politics with tags , on April 28, 2009 by raingeg

Bigot: Somebody with strong opinions, especially on politics, religion, or ethnicity, who refuses to accept different views.

Here are just a few issues where bigotry is the norm. It is only fair to note that not everyone that agrees with parts of the following issues is a bigot.

Evolution: The world has no creator, we know how the world developed and we have “overwhelming evidence” that indicates we are right. Anyone that thinks otherwise is to be regarded as a bronze age, fairytale believing fool and is on a different level of thought than that of the evolutionist. Your opinions will never be heard in the classroom, remember separation of church and state.

Abortion: The fetus inside a woman’s stomach is nothing but a blob. It may have eyes, DNA, fingerprints, fingernails, a nose, a heart, a brain, and all the potential needed to be a human, but we still think it is just a blob, therefore terminate it if you want. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a religious fanatic, therefore their opinion must be regarded invalid. After all they’re just looking to take women’s rights away.

Global warming or “Climate Change:” Global warming is real, “scientific evidence” is vastly in our favor. Even though there are many scientists out there that would contest, on many levels, the validity of global warming, the debate is over. Anyone that thinks otherwise must be marginalized, they must be tied up with “big oil” and they must not be regarded as a real “scientist,” because here consensus is king and there is no debate, we already know the answer.

The examples above are not exaggerated, these opinions are held and acted upon just as I’ve demonstrated. The odd thing that each one has in common is the idea that debate is over, we know the answer and we are right. They regard anyone that disagrees with them as intellectually lower and will not accept a different point of view.

Here is the irony, I am to be regarded as a bigot because I don’t think that homosexuals should be able to get “married.” I put married in quotation marks because the term married has become something that at this time it is not and in previous years never was. Even though I am totally in favor of homosexuals having every right that heterosexuals have when it comes to marriage, my qualm is that I don’t want it to be called marriage. For that I am regarded as a bigot, solely because I am attempting to allow a word to retain its definition.

Many business people that voted for prop 8 in California were literally black listed, nearly run out of town, told that they cannot do business in California and lost their jobs, and those business people are regarded as bigots?

One of the major problems with this debate is the immense amount of subjectivity that has been infused into the debate. Lets assume one day the supreme court of Ohio decided to call self defense murder. That would be completely subject to the Ohio supreme courts definition of “self defense” which is obviously something that it has not been. Self defense has never been regarded as murder and should not be, but for the sake of argument self defense is murder. Don’t you think that there would be a little bit of an outrage. Why? Because something that has for a very long time been regarded as legal and ethically acceptable is now redefined and in turn made the opposite.

That is what is happening right now in regard to the definition of marriage. What should be done about it? Leave it to the states, let the people of the states decide what they want for their state. This should not be a federal issue, we cannot allow for redundancy, if the states have the power to act they should. This should not be legislated from the bench, these judges should not be making decisions on this, if they do people from both sides should allow people to choose. People, if someone doesn’t believe what you believe they are not intellectually lower than you, no matter what side of any issue they are on.