“Somethings Happening In Here, What It Is Ain’t Exactly Clear”


After I left M. Night Shyamalan’s new movie The Happening, I felt as though I would have been better off taking the nine dollars I spent and using it to start a small bonfire in my room. EW.com called the movie “a feature-length Twilight Zone episode”, that is ironic, because prior to reading that review I thought to myself, “Rod Serling must be rolling over in his grave”. I told my friend that the Twilight Zone episode I had watched the night before was better than this movie.

I drove home in a fog, listening to Frank Sinatra and dreaming about the good old day’s when movies had a substantive plot, good writing and inspired actors. I couldn’t stop thinking about great movies like The Day The Earth Stood Still and The Manchurian Candidate. I couldn’t help but compare Mark Wahlberg’s role in The Happening to Frank’s role in The Manchurian Candidate, Frank made Mark look like Barney, Barney’s funny at times but nonetheless the big purple dinosaur thing is just not believable.

Mark is not to blame for this failed movie and its nearly non-existent plot. A plot that took advantage of extremely base ideas, had hardly any twists and turns, and insulted the intelligence of the viewer. This movie is merely a bad way to prove a point. If you want to get the whole idea behind the movie, watch the last five or ten minutes and spare yourself the agony of sitting through a bunch of uninspired acting and pointless death.

The movie starts out with a woman randomly killing herself in the (heavily tree populated) Central Park, after she becomes disillusioned about what is going on in the world. Next scene, a construction worker is telling a dirty joke that makes no sense, when all of the sudden, people start randomly hurling themselves off of buildings. Mark Wahlberg play’s a science teacher, and his wife is played by Zooey Deschanel, the Elf girl that sings in the shower. They bring along with them, the daughter of some friends that becomes an orphan about twenty minutes into the film. Together the three embark on a journey of hardly epic proportions, as they try and figure out why people are randomly killing themselves, while at the same time avoiding the same fate. They meander through the northeast hiding from wind and trees, while avoiding backwoods folk with shotguns and dealing with a crazy old lady. And in a bit of irony (read next paragraph) Zooey’s character ends up pregnant.

The moral of the story, overpopulation bad. That’s it, nothing more, its a strange thought that often occupies the minds of left leaning individuals. The thought that we are all going to run out of resources and harm the continuously evolving, (apparently) living organism known as earth, and that will somehow trigger it to smote us. It truly reveals where our societies values rest, not in a God or any moral teachings that will better mankind, but in morals that the world offers, morals that ask if its alright for the earth before thinking of humanity. You have to look no further than this and some other countries and what we are currently doing with ethanol. What society in their right mind would start depleting its food supply, in order to save a planet that is theorized to be in jeopardy? The answer, only one, ours. The earth has truly become many a people’s god, the worship of earth and the nothingness it has to offer, is nothing short of a tragedy.

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